I tend to be quite a nostalgic person... I definitely was before having kids and am even more so now as a mother. I journal, blog, upload to social media, record stats and memories in baby books, create Project Life albums (which I highly recommend!), and even email myself the mundane details and milestones in my life.
Babies grow so quickly and make you realize that life is moving, moments are temporary and you'll never have this time again. They seem to change all the time, and, as inconceivable as it is, it forces you to realize that you are also getting older. For those reasons, I can't help myself from documenting life. This blog has become, more than anything, a memoir of the past five years, the perfect time capsule for what I have considered worthy of taking the time to remember. If the only audience to this blog is myself, my future self, my husband (he has no choice bwaha) and my children, that's enough for me.
Vivian is now two years old, Vincent two and a half months. The weeks since his birth have been somewhat of a frenzy as I've been adjusting to two kids. But there is so much joy in watching Viv with a sibling, seeing Ryan with a son, and getting to love on a newborn all over again. There is a balance in our home that feels different than just having one child. And while two is more hectic than one, it's an even fuller feeling of family with both babies around.
I wanted to write a post to stop time in its tracks. To freeze this stage and record where we are and what normal looks like now. The pictures are blurry, dark, off-centered and low-quality. They are ones I probably wouldn't print, but they tell such a story of our ordinariness. The kind of memories that aren't substantial enough to make a lasting impression. The kind of memories that I need to write about or they'll be gone.
Why I love this photo: Ryan puts Vivian to bed every night now while I get Vincent ready for bed. Before she was a big sister, Vivian was extremely clingy to me and it was rare that she would let Ryan put her to bed without begging for me to do it instead. Their relationship is much closer since Vincent's been born and the two of them really bond during this bedtime routine. Ryan said to me yesterday "I like when she wakes up early because I love seeing her before work." Their relationship is so sweet to watch.
Why I love this photo: Vivian loves getting alone time with me. While Vincent naps, we frequently sit on the front porch steps. Often with food, we talk, people watch, open the mail, and she rips off the peeling paint :p She waves to neighbors, cars and passersby, loves to drink "bubble water" as if she were an adult, and begs me to run in circles in the grass with her, though it makes my head so dizzy! These are ordinary moments that define this phase of her settling into her new role, sweet times when Vincent is still napping so often.
Why I love this photo: Vivian can be very shy around new people, but she loves family so much. She was the first grandkid and niece on both sides of the family, and has long relished the attention she has been generously given by grandparents, aunts and uncles. The family has grown and there are more babies on the way. I think she'll always have a special spot in many hearts as the first of this new generation.
Why I love this photo: She sometimes takes herself so seriously. She spent a long time working on this painting. With almost each brushstroke, she would seek my affirmation on how good of a job she was doing. She got a piece of paper and paintbrush for me to paint alongside of her. She is so considerate of me and loves to share (most of the time).
Why I love this photo: Almost every day, Viv will strike a yoga pose, usually this one. She thinks it's fun, and she's seen Ryan and me exercise. She emulates much of what we do, and reminds me how important it is to be an authentic example to her.
She also has a french braid in this picture. Because I had braided my hair that day, she asked for one, too. I wanted a daughter so badly and imagined braiding her hair. I worried that she wouldn't have the patience, desire or pain tolerance (hehe) for french braids, but Vivian is very compliant when I do her hair, even asks for it to be done. I wonder if I never braided my hair if she would still have the interest? I wonder if I had to ask to do it, versus her asking me, if it would happen? I hope to always be worthy of her imitation.
Why I love this photo: I don't need to say much. It's still surreal that I have TWO kids! But they are everything! She shares her Elmo with him and caresses his head before she's ready to busy herself with toddler activities. She checks on him often, loves giving him his fallen paci, wants to wipe him and hold him and sing to him when he cries. It's not always peaceful between the two of them, though. Sometimes her volume, closeness and touch overwhelm him, and sometimes she is jealous of the attention he gets. But I know this is just the beginning for them. Their feelings for each other will only intensify with time and the special bond they're already starting to form will deepen. I can't wait to bear witness to it.
Why I love this photo: I honestly wasn't sure I could stay home full time. Especially with how winters are around here, I knew there would be many long days of indoor captivity. I wondered how I, in our small home, would keep them entertained while maintaining my sanity. Vivian has taken that worry away. She can occupy herself very easily with her imagination, especially with her babies. They are very well taken care of :)
Why I love this photo: While journaling today, she grabbed my pen and notebook and started writing. Maybe I'm not the only nostalgic one in the family ;)
