Recent Scare and Reasons to Believe

While I don't post a lot of things about my faith, I definitely felt compelled to today. 

Being pregnant is scary, especially since it's my first time. Every little ache or pain or symptom could mean something is wrong, though it probably isn't. Where do you draw the line between paranoia and proactivity?  

Right after pulling into my grocery store's parking lot I received a call from an 877 number, third time in an hour. Why wouldn't they just leave me a message? I decided to answer, thinking it could be related to something else. Turns out, it was the very grocery store whose parking lot I was in saying that there had been a recall on their nectarines due to the bacteria listeria having been found. Listeria. I remembered this bacteria from our birthing class. Maybe I was getting mixed up, but I thought it could cause blindness in babies in utero (I was mixed up- it's not one of the side effects). I got home and looked it up. Listeria can cause miscarriage, preterm birth, and other serious side effects in newborns. It hits pregnant women harder than most and can pass through to the placenta without the mother showing any signs of being sick. I lost it. Probably because I've eaten about one nectarine every day since they've been selling them. Fruit, especially ripe, juicy, seasonal fruit, is what I have been consistently craving this whole pregnancy. And nectarines are among my summertime favorites. 

After frantically calling my husband to let him know about the recall, I tried calling my midwives. They were out to lunch and I couldn't leave them a message. Ugh. My next thought was to call our birthing class instructor, who is also a nurse, but I didn't have her cell number. I called my friend who had taken the class with us and started bawling on the phone with her. She so sweetly offered to come to the grocery store to keep me company. When I assured her I'd be fine, she passed along our instructor's number. Before she hung up she said I'll pray for you.  I had been calling doctors and nurses, but hadn't taken a moment to think about prayer. 

After walking around the store to get the items I had originally come for (minus the nectarines), I bumped into a former coworker who is a strong Christian. I practically chased her down just to tell her what happened, knowing she wouldn't likely have medical advice to offer, but friendly consolation. She did. She hugged me several times and told me I'd be okay. Her presence was a direct answer to my friend's prayer for me.

I left the store, eyes red, refund in my wallet, feeling better. The produce manager told me there had been no reported cases in their particular store (or chain), but that once they found out that the company had reported this outbreak, they had to alert their customers and pull the produce off the shelves. I finally got ahold of my midwives and they said not to worry. The baby is very developed at this point. Most assuring was the fact that I hadn't gotten sick. These were all positives. 

The car ride home from the grocery store is less than five minutes. But within those five minutes I heard songs that seemed to come on the radio as a reminder just for me. First was Our God is Greater and then Greater. I got home and recommitted this baby to God. So many things in life are completely outside of our control and it took me this scare to remind me of that. Worry is useless and unproductive, especially when you have hope, faith and trust. And prayer. Prayer is powerful. I just wish I had done that first before making my frantic phone calls. 

Those songs reminded me of a quote that I love: "Don't tell God how big the storm is, tell the storm how big your God is." He is greater!

God, I pray for our baby, for my pregnant relatives and girlfriends, and the recently born newborns in our lives.